


Metronome

by koropendora



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, December Spoilers, Dysphoria, I SWEAR IT'S GONNA GET HAPPY LATER, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, November spoilers, Spoilers, Teen Pregnancy, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-10 02:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12288957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koropendora/pseuds/koropendora
Summary: If he knew the last secret Goro still hid from him, would Kurusu still have insisted he live? Would he still show so much compassion? Or is it the very reason why he shows compassion in the first place?He must have known. It's the only reason Goro can think of for Kurusu to save him like this. Not for himself, of course, but for Kurusu's child. Of course. That must be why.Not for Goro.Goro finds out he's pregnant, and everything changes, because the father is dead — until he isn't. He finds support where he never expected to.





	1. Conflict

**Author's Note:**

> **EXTRA WARNINGS:** suicidal ideation, _homicidal_ ideation, vague discussion of abortion, a trans male character experiencing dysphoria  & gender-related self-deprecation, mentions of Shido Masayoshi (yikes), a trans writer who's definitely projecting a little?  
> It gets much sweeter & less bleak the further along it goes, but personally I can't do this dance without tapping into Goro's darker sides early on. Please take care of yourself if the themes bother you or are potential triggers!
> 
> Abridged [kink meme prompt](https://personakinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/993.html?thread=525793): "Akira and Goro finally break their sexual tension and sleep with each other. A few months later, Goro realizes he's missed two periods and takes a pregnancy test which comes up positive. Considering Japan's laws on abortion, he has very few options."

Positive.

Goro glared into the objects in his hands, as if willing the results to change before his eyes.

Four different pregnancy tests. All positive.

That couldn't be true. Could it? Had he truly been so careless? Of course, sex was one of the few things he wasn't exactly prepared for, never expected to need it, had no interest in. But Kurusu had been interested in him. Out of all people, Kurusu was—

_Kurusu._

Kurusu was the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

Not even close to being his boyfriend. Quite the opposite — Goro hated his guts, the idiot who had everything he could only dream of. Friends, family, a home, freedom to be whoever he wanted, and hands free of blood. Kurusu Akira disgusted him.

Kurusu Akira was dead.

Officially ruled as a suicide, but Goro knew whose hands the blood was on.

He tells himself it doesn't matter. The elections are fast approaching. Soon his plan, what he twisted himself for for the past three years, will come to fruition. Soon Shido Masayoshi would lose to his own son, and everything will have been worth it. And nothing else will matter. The child he may be carrying or the only possible father for it didn't matter. Kurusu was dead, Shido would be dead, and Goro himself would probably join them not long afterwards.

And yet here he was. Four pregnancy tests on shaking hands, struggling to keep breathing. He feels bile burning the back of his throat, an unspoken curse coiling all across his body. Life, instead of death.

More than anything, at this exact moment, he missed Kurusu.

 

* * *

 

Although he wouldn't admit to it, their first time together had been a long time coming. He also expected it to be their last.

One late-October evening, as he made to leave Leblanc, Kurusu had asked him to stay. Even offered him his bed; _he'd be fine with the couch, honestly_ , he'd said. And he'd looked... desperate. Unusually, to Goro, the attic rat seemed even more tense than himself. He wasn't sure if it was Phantom Thieves work stressing the boy out, considering how quickly the team had been progressing in the Casino, or the underhanded tactics Goro had been using when he'd previously presented himself as harmless... Or even the unspoken _thing_ hanging between them since they'd met back in June.

Since the very first time, Kurusu had a strangely soft look in his eyes whenever they spoke, but there was also a hidden sharpness, like the boy itself was a concealed knife. Goro couldn't deny he was attracted to it — like a moth to a flame, a puzzle he couldn't even begin to solve. He was sure Kurusu would be the metaphorical death of him.

He had a time limit, of course. Goro had convinced them to send the calling card at a specific date to maximize its effectiveness. Only then would they steal Niijima's treasure.

All according to his, and Shido's, plan. The thieves who meddled in Shido's path to glory would be arrested, their leader wiped by his son's hand.

And Goro would be the literal death of him.

_Thesis and antithesis._

 

Goro accepted the boy's offer anyway.

It would be his only chance to do something like this, after all. In weeks, Kurusu Akira would have a bullet hole in his forehead, courtesy of Goro himself.

Still, it had been much harder leaving Kurusu's bed in the morning than he expected it to be. He half expected not to be taken to bed after all — he'd learned Kurusu had a preference for men, and part of Goro wished the other boy had been repulsed by his body just so he could hate the Phantom Thief a little bit more. But the fool was just as incomprehensible as always, not batting an eye when he reached for Goro's binder.

And if he didn't refuse Kurusu's subsequent invitations to stay the night, well. He figures he's allowed one more mistake in the pile that is his life. Just this once, he'll allow himself to be selfish, to wallow in warmth he doesn't deserve, in kisses and moans that should never have been directed at him.

He hadn't anticipated just how _big_ of a mistake this would turn out to be. 

His body refused to let him forget the doctors called him a girl when he was born, and his heart refused to let him forget Kurusu Akira was dead by his hand.

These two facts overlapped by some twist of fate, and it's currently resting right next to Goro's stomach.

 

* * *

 

Kurusu Akira was alive.

At first, he thought it was just wishful thinking; wanting something he couldn't have, so badly that he'd fooled himself into believing it.

But the pieces all fit: Shido's subtly changing cognition, the slight disorientation he'd felt when Niijima had showed him the phone, how Kurusu barely talked back even as he had a gun to his head. They'd fooled him, Charismatic Detective Akechi Goro, and were about to ruin everything he's worked so hard for.

The person responsible for his still unborn child was alive. He couldn't let that remain true.

 

And yet... and yet.

In his father's disgusting cruise ship, they offered their hands to him. Even after he attacked and rampaged, insulted them from the depths of his heart, they accepted him.

_Kurusu_ accepted him.

His rival. Someone he'd hurt more times than he could count. Someone who had promised to complete Goro's mission in his stead. If they succeeded, Kurusu would have whole life ahead of him, finally free of the shadow Shido Masayoshi had left hanging over him. And maybe Goro would have a life of his own to look forward to, too.

(And there was a third little life growing within him, between them, and the very thought of it left him breathless and disgusted.)

He wanted to die for them. To show his change of heart to them in the only way he knew how.

But those _positive, positive, positive, positive_ tests hung over his head like a heavy cloud, made him hesitate for just a second, and Kurusu took the chance away from him.

 

That night was difficult.

Goro had stayed quiet the whole trip back from the Diet Building. Kurusu stuck close, much too close for someone who'd nearly been murdered by him not once, but twice. Looked haunted, but not for his own life. He hung to Goro's arm as if he'd disappear the second he let go.

Even as they climbed the steps towards Leblanc's attic together, shivering from cold and fear, they didn't speak.

They slept together, that night, in the most literal sense of the term. Goro felt warmer than he ever had before, and soaked through Kurusu's shirt with silent tears he only shed because he didn't have to look at the other boy's face.

If he knew the last secret Goro still hid from him, would Kurusu still have insisted he live? Would he still show so much compassion? Or is it the very reason why he shows compassion in the first place?

He must have known. It's the only reason Goro can think of for Kurusu to save him like this. Not for himself, of course, but for Kurusu's child. Of course. That must be why.

Not for Goro.

 

They were still silent as Goro left Leblanc first thing in the morning, though Kurusu hesitated to let go every time he found his hands on Goro.

Goro misses it immediately, his warmth he thought he'd never be able to feel again, his touch, but he can't. Not until he figures out what Kurusu's intentions are.

Not until he figures out what his own intentions are.

 

* * *

 

Goro doesn't bother to contact him or the other Phantom Thieves until Kurusu sends a message, calling for a meeting the following day. They'll most likely try to steal Shido's treasure, and free them both from the shackles he'd forced on them.

In a different, private chat window, Kurusu asks to meet Goro alone; _they had things to talk about before they change Shido's heart_ , he said. _He'll have some coffee ready._

Goro's breath hitches.

Kurusu _did_ know. He had to know, why else would he ask to talk face to face like that, when they'd seen each other so recently? It had to be something important. He can't imagine it would just be to _see him_.

Somehow, he finds himself in Yongen-jaya. He could've done anything. Run away, gotten in a bus never to return. Hidden himself in Mementos until Kurusu forgot he existed. But instead, he opens the door to Leblanc, bell warning the barmaster behind the counter to his presence. Goro shoots him a sheepish smile and a nod, and instead of a greeting, he's given a tray with two cups of coffee.

"Kid's upstairs," Sojiro states simply, and returns to his duties as if Goro had never come in. _That's the Boss for you_ , Goro thinks to himself as he carefully takes the tray of coffee up the stairs to the attic. He almost wishes Sojiro would say something, be angry, yell at him — he knew Goro betrayed the Thieves, after all, and who knows what _else_ — but he never does, just looks at him with a complex expression he can't decipher.

Kurusu is fidgeting with his phone and earbuds, Morgana napping on his side, when Goro enters the room. He's not noticed, and it gives him a precious few seconds to think this through. He could still run away if he wanted to. Far away from Kurusu, where his mistakes can no longer hurt anyone other than himself. Where Kurusu doesn't have to be a _teen dad_ on top of everything else.

But the thought of dealing with it alone brings Goro a kind of fear he's never felt before. He'd been so certain of everything, had planned for every unexpected twist and turn, up until Kurusu stepped into his life, like Kurusu's mere existence pulled a badly positioned piece in the Jenga tower of his plans for the future. He had no idea where to go from here, even without factoring in the damned pregnancy, and it was _terrifying_.

There's no door, so he announces his presence by setting his suitcase down next to the railing, then knocking on the wall. Kurusu all but jumps up at this, scaring Morgana out of his slumber. He could almost laugh at the poor cat's fate. Almost. Right now, his mind is too busy with other thoughts to actually make fun of his inhumanly teammate.

...Teammate. Huh.

He has no time to dwell in that thought before Kurusu gives him a, "Hey, Goro, you're here," a far more excited greeting than he'd been expecting. He helps Goro with the tray with a spring in his step, a kind of nervous energy Kurusu usually reserved for special occasions. Goro's only had it directed towards him back when—

Oh _god_ , he didn't know. And Goro would have to _tell him._

Kurusu sneakily slips his hand into Goro's, his other hand twirling at his own fringe, before Goro can react. "I know there's a lot to deal with, but right now, I'm just glad you're here."

Morgana, voice still heavy with interrupted sleep, groans very pointedly at them. "Ugh, if I knew you were going to be all gross all over him, I would've left earlier." And his cute little cat paws shoot him across the attic and down the stairs before Goro can protest that no, _absolutely nothing gross is going on at this exact moment_.

Kurusu shrugs, stepping toward the bed with Goro in tow. His tone is neutral in the way that tells Goro he's planning something; either that, or he's trying very hard to conceal his emotions. Either option would prove troublesome. "Well, I would've liked for you two to talk, too, but some privacy is nice."

"Indeed," Goro replies without thinking. After a moment, he shakes his head, looking over at Kurusu when he seats them both over his futon. "I— Kurusu—"

"Aw, I'm back to Kurusu again?" He fake-pouts, but can't hide his teasing little smile for long. "You're back on the team, so you're legally obligated to call me Akira."

"As if legality had any bearing on your behavior...! Either way, uh, _Akira_ ," Goro tries again, trying to outmatch the other boy's flirtatious stare with his own tense one. "We _do_ have a lot to talk about, so...!"

Akira leans over Goro, twisting so that he's almost lying down instead of sitting next to him, "Is that before or after we make out to celebrate our reunion?"

That's— forward, even for Akira. Goro has to remember what he's here for, or at least some of it, to control how flustered he's getting. "I'm serious, you tool!"

"Trash, and now tool... You're so hurtful, honey—" Akira is interrupted by a pillow hitting him square in the face. "Alright, I get it. Joke time's over. Serious time now."

Goro groans, exasperated. " _Thank you_." _This_ is the father of his child?

And just like that, the warmth that had been washing over him since he arrived leaves in a split second, as if taken by a breeze.

"...Goro." Akira begins, warmly, when the silence stretches enough it's clear he won't do it himself. "Take your time. We have... a lot of issues to work through. And not just me and you— the others... I'm just saying, you don't have to do it all at once, or all alone."

"I appreciate the thought, but we don't exactly _have_ time," Goro chastises, more exhausted than anything. The election is fast approaching, and Shido would soon reach a position too high for anyone to reach — one Goro had helped him get to.

(Thinking back, it was so naive of him to think Shido wouldn't get rid of him as soon as he could.)

"We do, though. We'll get this done with, and we'll have all the time in the world to figure things out." Akira's smile was so sweet, so fond, it felt like it was squeezing Goro's heart and twisting it out of his chest. He wouldn't look at him that way if he knew. Wouldn't say such sweet words to someone as wretched as Goro.

"No, we..." Goro barely realizes he's started shaking. "Akira, I... Have to tell you something."

"Anything," he nods, expression solid but still so unbearably warm, and Goro has the sudden urge to kill him again. He knows that he's projecting his anger at himself and the world onto Akira, yet he still has these gut reactions... What a horrible person he is. Definitely one not fit to be a parent.

Goro finds his suitcase again, then comes back to the bed against his better judgment, sitting even closer to Akira than he'd been before. Akira holds his hand, squeezing when Goro's shaking goes particularly out of control.

Goro takes a deep, deep breath.

"I... missed two periods," he starts, slowly undoing the latches on his case, "last month and this. So I... took these."

Goro produces a plastic bag, the pregnancy tests displayed as if evidence to be submitted to court. His hands just steady enough for Akira to get a look at them.

_Positive positive positive_ —

"Fuck," Akira mutters under his breath. "Goro, I'm so sorry."

Goro responds with a shaky shrug, shoving the damning evidence back into his case a bit more forcefully than necessary. His eyes are bright with unshed tears, though he doubts they'll stay like that for long.

"...And you're sure it's mine?" Akira asks in a quiet voice, scared of whatever answer he'll receive. After a moment, Goro nods, and Akira shoots him a look far too pitiful.

Goro visibly flinches when he realizes what exactly the other boy is asking. "Absolutely not. He's a scumbag, but it would appear he learned from his mistakes."

The implications of the answer (and of the very fact he felt the need to _ask_ ) were a bit too much to deal with for Akira, especially considering the boy in front of him was apparently _carrying his child_. He takes a deep, steadying breath. "Alright." Takes his hand to his face, covering his mouth in an attempt to keep his heart from jumping out of it. "Alright. So clearly we have a big problem on our hands."

"That's... an understatement." Goro's voice is almost unrecognizable from a sigh, and Akira can no longer contain the urge to hug him.

Goro doesn't exactly hug back, but he lets his head droop into the crook of Akira's neck, slumping into the other boy.

"Akira, I'm— sorry. I ruined everything."

"No, no. Goro, don't say that. It's not your fault." He squeezes tighter, bringing his lips to the side of Goro's head, inhaling in an attempt to calm his own emotions. "It's okay."

"It's not! How can you..." He sobs almost unrecognizably into Akira's shoulder. "You gave me a second chance, a path to fix my mistakes, and yet... If only I'd been a real man—!"

Akira pulls back in alarm, eyes wide, tears spilling out involuntarily. "Oh, god, don't say that. Please don't talk like that about yourself, Goro—" Goro attempts to interrupt him, but no real words come out, just various noises that could have been the beginning of a sentence at some point. Akira had never seen him like this, so deeply in despair, not even when he was staring death in the face, not even when he'd been an enemy trying to purge the Thieves from existence. Knowing he had a hand in causing him so much pain was almost too much to bear. "I don't care. I don't care if you're pregnant, or even if you hate me now, because—"

"Don't... don't patronize me." Goro pleads.

"Shut up and listen." Akira's hands tighten on Goro's shoulders. "Even if I wasn't the father, I'd do anything to help you right now. Because— I care about you, no matter what. So don't say things like that again."

A wave of tears cascades out of Goro's eyes, and Akira wraps his arms around him again. This time, Goro does the same, if only because he wants so badly to believe his words are true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this fic at the end of august gah I'm such a slowpoke,,,, most of it is already written though, so it should be complete pretty soon...? (watch me take _another_ month to finish it lol)
> 
> Next up: Goro visits a certain doctor, Sojiro gets to scold Akira's ears off, and some heart-stealing happens, supposedly


	2. Fear

Within the next hour, Goro finds himself brought to a small clinic, only a few blocks away from Leblanc. Akira exchanges a few hushed words with the woman behind the counter — one "doctor Takemi", Goro overhears — and she directs them to enter the examination room.

Goro tries hard not to start shaking again, and almost succeeds.

The doctor, dressed far too gaudy for Goro to believe she's a real medical professional, steps towards her chair, heels clicking loudly on the floor. "So, what can I help you with?"

( _Take this thing out of me_ , Goro thinks, and is immediately disgusted with himself. Why exactly? He doesn't _want_ the child, so why did it bother him that _he doesn't want it_?)

Akira rests a hand on his shoulder, and maybe if he hadn't, Goro wouldn't notice they're _both_ shaking. "I trust Doctor Takemi. She can help us — she can help _you_."

Goro takes a deep breath, then two. He tries to meet the doctor's eyes, but he can't hold her gaze for more than a second. When he finally lets it out, it's in a quiet, uncertain voice. "I'm... most likely pregnant."

Doctor Takemi blinks at them, realization washing over her in the form of raised eyebrows, then twice over with widening eyes. "So, I'm assuming it's his." She gestures towards Akira, and they both nod slowly. She sighs, taking a hand to her temple. "I do many things under the table, but you should realize clandestine abortion is not one of them."

Akira winces. "No, I wouldn't ask that of you," he reassures her, and it seems effective, because her defensive position slowly melts away. (Goro's doesn't, because part of him was hoping that was what they were here for. _Of course not, idiot_.) "But you know of our... situation. I'm technically still dead. And Goro's a celebrity with enemies in high places, if something like this got out..."

She hums at this, turning a grave expression towards Goro. "I don't exactly have specialized equipment here, but I could run some blood tests. I'm assuming you've already done a home test, but I'll have you do a urine test just in case. It should be enough to confirm or deny it, and if you really are pregnant, some preliminary status on the child, if that's what you need." She holds her gaze steady, and this time, he won't dare look away. "If it does come up positive, though, you really should consider going to a specialist. If it is that much of a problem, I'll take you to someone I trust, myself."

Why is that such a reassuring thought, he wonders? He only has a vague idea how far Shido's eyes and ears have spread by now, and being escorted by an adult Akira trusts ( _even if she's incredibly shady_ ) helps ease some of the fear that he'll be tracked down.

"I... that would be a huge help, doctor." Goro lets his shoulders slump, tension giving way to dejection.

"And you," she directs a much more stern look towards Akira, "I thought you would be more careful, especially in your position. If you needed condoms, you know I could supply them — or any pharmacy in a mile radius." She takes a moment to think, fingers brushing against her chin. "Hmm, I should probably a check for STD's as well, if that's alright with you. That include you, guinea pig."

(... _Guinea pig_? What in the world was Akira's relationship with this doctor, exactly?)

Akira doesn't answer, looking down bitterly like a puppy that got scolded. Except the mess he made was much more grave than a chewed up shoe.

She doesn't hold her gaze on him for long, considering he's not reciprocating; the doctor sighs as she lets her shoulders drop. "Very well. Please take a seat while I get my equipment ready."

* * *

Goro isn't sure he's happy or very, very upset that Akira is friends with a doctor. It's only a few hours later, when they're quietly contemplating their life choices in the chilly attic and not really watching one of the myriad overdue DVDs with Morgana, that Akira gets a text from her.

Of course, their suspicions are confirmed, as well as some extra data he can barely parse right now.

"Approximately six or seven weeks... With margin for error, but still." Akira quotes as he scrolls through her messages again. "It definitely, uh... lines up."

Goro barely has any reaction. This was just confirming what he already knew, after all. "I can't do this."

"I can't say it was in my plans, but," Akira drops his phone, letting out a sigh as he gives up deciphering the message's contents, "This is happening whether or not we want it to."

Goro shoots him a sharp glare, too familiar for Akira's taste. "And what do you suggest? That we _raise_ it?" Before Akira can answer, he lets his gaze drift away along with his thoughts; "Because I am _not_ sending it to an _orphanage_. That's out of the question."

Morgana looks up at Goro, ears tilted in confusion. Akira blinks, letting the words sink in, feeling a sting of guilt at the thought that he nearly suggested that exact course of action. "You're right about that. Still, we could find someone trustworthy to adopt it. I know plenty of adults..." A beat of silence, and Goro glances curiously at him; there's an obvious _but_ waiting to be said. "But just ditching it to someone else is... If it's too much for you, I can take it."

Goro can't help but instantly scoff. "Oh, what a martyr you are. I commend you for taking responsibility, but—"

What could have been the start of a heated discussion is interrupted by a shrill _meow_. Both Akira and Goro jump at the reminder that they weren't alone in his room.

"Alright, guys, can someone explain what is going on? Who is raising what? What are you two even up to!?" Morgana groans. "Goro, you can't leave us out of the loop if something's wrong, okay?"

(He'll never get used to hearing his name from so many different voices — he doesn't remember giving either Akira or Morgana permission to, but it's not a pressing enough matter to call them out on it.)

An awkward silence stretches as Akira and Goro glance at each other, attempting to communicate varying degrees of "oops" and "what now" without words.

It takes a few moments more, but Akira eventually gives up on the unsuccessful telepathic conversation. "I... we should probably tell him. Everyone's going to know at some point, anyway..."

He responds with a shrug, letting his shoulders sag again. "He already heard most of it."

Akira winces a little, rubbing the back of his neck in a feeble attempt to appear casual. "Yeah, so... I'm not sure how familiar you are with human reproduction, but, uh, Goro's pregnant."

Morgana tilts his head. "Wait, you mean... With a baby!?"

Goro responds with a squint. "No, with a _cat_." (Akira is momentarily upset at having his words taken from his mouth, but much more alarmed at how his heart skips a beat in response to Goro _talking back_.) "What do you think pregnant means, Morgana?"

Morgana's back arches in alarm, fur starting to look a bit messy  "But I can't be an uncle! I'm still a cat!"

Akira lets a tiny smirk slip at this. "No one said anything about you being an uncle, but thanks for the non-offer."

Goro nods. "So you're only a cat when it's convenient to you. I see."

"I'm not— you know what I meant! Human! Still in this body!" Morgana chastises. "How did this even happen!?"

"You see, when a thief and a detective love each other very much—"

It's so laughable, hearing the word _love_ from Akira's mouth, as if their escapades bad been fueled by anything other than lust. Maybe even despair, knowing now that Akira was already aware that Goro was going to betray them ( _him_ ). Lust, and the fear of death; trying to delay the inevitable. Certainly not something like love.

As the only sign of that train of thought, Goro scoffs. "Can we not do this?"

At least Akira has the decency to look guilty, and Morgana joins in shortly after. "Sorry," the cat offers. "I know it's a delicate subject, but, uh..."

"I'm..." Goro attempts, fails, takes a breath before trying again. "It's alright, Morgana. I'm not mad at you."

Morgana only looks vaguely relieved, but doubles his concern down with a determined expression. "I know there's not much I can do in this body, but I'll help you any way I can." He bumps his head against Goro in a very feline-like gesture. Interesting. It's not like he was a cat person, but that sure was adorable. "I'm sure the others will feel the same way."

It's a near-worthless offer, all things considered. Morgana is still a cat, he still has to carry an unexpected child, and the other thieves certainly wouldn't go too far for him; tolerated him at best, viciously hated him at worst. And yet, the tears sting into his eyes, the sincerity in Morgana's voice forcing another crack in his already shattered mask.

(Hopefully, the Phantom Thieves will already have disbanded and left him alone by the time the pregnancy becomes too obvious to hide.)

* * *

Akira finally comes back downstairs, after the sun's gone down. Sojiro's closing up shop when they cross paths, Akira carrying his slightly depressing bath basket; a clear indication of where he intends to go next. He stops in front of the counter as Sojiro finishes putting the dishes away, nods as a poor replacement for a greeting.

"Hey, Sojiro," he starts, and Sojiro feels like he's been time-displaced. Other than being a rude little shit and using his first name, Akira sounds a lot like the kid he first brought home all those months ago — detached and trying too hard to seem emotionless. "Go— Akechi-san's probably staying overnight again. That okay with you?"

Of course. If he's going for a bath and Akechi is still up in his room, Akira clearly didn't intend on sending him on his way. "Look, kid, I'll be straight with you—" There it is, a hint of the boy he came to know, coming back to surface. "Wipe that smirk off your face. You don't have to laugh every time someone says the word straight, I get it, everybody under this roof is bisexual. Except for the cat." That sends him on a slight tangent; he's aware that the cat apparently has emotions and consciousness just like everyone else, but to him, he still looks like a normal cat. Still... "Hopefully not the cat. ...Is he?"

Akira snorts, and takes a step in the direction of the door, shaking his head. Sojiro squints — he may be laughing, but boy's more avoidant than usual, for sure. "Don't think you get to slip out, kid. Sit down." He just sits and blinks up at Sojiro, as if he hadn't just been caught trying to escape a conversation. "Listen. I'm not exactly thrilled to have him under my roof, even if it's my shop's roof. After what happened to you last month, I'd be more than happy to never see that kid's face again. But—" He interjects as he sees Akira open his mouth to refute. What's with kids today and not letting people finish what they're saying? "There was always something different about him, when he was my customer. I couldn't kick him out when you dragged him in the other day, still can't kick him out now. He clearly needs something, and if you think you can help with that, well..." Sojiro shrugs, as if the memory of Akira showing up on his doorstep beaten black and blue with unfocused eyes didn't haunt him. Pretending he didn't think it had happened again, when Akira brought the "traitor" to his cafe two days ago, clutching each other as if their lives depended on it. "I just need you to be very, very careful. Though knowing you, that's probably goin' in one ear and right out the other..."

Akira seems to be actually thinking about it for a moment, surprisingly, and nods. "It's just until we're done with this mission... It's dangerous for him to be out and about right now."

Sojiro shakes his head and lets out an exasperated groan, knowing there's nothing he can say to change Akira's mind. Can't hurt to try to set him straight (he can  _ hear _ Akira laughing in his head), though. "It's also dangerous for  _ you _ to be out, or with him, and that's not stopping ya."

Akira frowns, fiddling with his little basket, poking at the plastic corners with his nails; something he wants to say but doesn't know how to, gnawing at him. Sojiro really wishes he'd learned more about being an authority figure by this point — if he can't get Akira to talk about important things, god knows how he'd manage Futaba when something big came up. He had a taste of it when he found that calling card, and he's not very excited to repeat the experience.

So he just sighs, hanging up his apron and going towards his jacket. "Just— take care of yourself, alright? You already had one too many near-death experiences for a lifetime." Hat properly in place in his head, Sojiro crosses his arms. Damn boy is way more trouble than he expected at first, and he's not even a real delinquent. "I need you to be in one piece when I send you back home. Hope Takemi did a good job stitching up whatever it was that you went there for..."

Akira, who had sat up after perceiving an end coming to the conversation, suddenly stills. Sojiro raises an eyebrow at him, holding eye contact until the boy remembers how to breathe. "You know we went to the clinic?"

"I  _ am _ your guardian for the year, and whatever happened had her worrying enough to call me and ask to keep an eye on you," he shrugs.

"She... didn't tell you what it was, though," Akira muses. Sojiro's pretty sure he never heard Akira sound scared, but if he did, it'd probably be something like this. Small and shaky, like a little mouse.

"No, something or other about respecting yours and Akechi's privacy." He'd been ready to walk out of the cafe just a moment ago, but he shifts a little towards the counter, eyes trained on Akira's expression. How exactly do you encourage a teenager full of secrets to open up? "If either of you has a problem serious enough for me to keep an eye out for, it'd probably help to know what it is." Maybe not like this. Damn, this is harder than it has any right to be.

Akira's brows furrow, mouth pressed into a thin, nervous line. He lets his gaze drift away, suddenly very interested in the shape of the coffee siphon; his expression a little less clear to Sojiro, but still grave enough to be noticeable.

"Sojiro," he starts, and it sounds a lot like the way Futaba says it — a little nervous, a little stilted, like he really wanted to say a different word. He likely means to call him Boss like everyone else, but there's a little side of Sojiro's brain that really wants it to be something else. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise you won't bug Goro about it. And — keep it out of my report? Please?"

Sojiro almost laughs, both at the request, and at the fact that the boy didn't bother to correct it to "Akechi-san" this time. "I'm not sure you realize this, but you're the leader of the Phantom Thieves. Your report has nothing to do with your actual daily activities at this point."

Akira lets out the breath he'd been holding, expression just a bit softer. It's progress, Sojiro thinks. "Alright."

So Akira tells him.

* * *

Goro spends the night over. He hadn't felt safe in his apartment where Shido would certainly look for him once he missed one too many calls, or responded with one too many flimsy excuse, and Akira insisted he stay. (It's mere luck that Goro had brought clothes in his suitcase that day, really; it's not like he'd hoped for this outcome from the start.)

When Akira comes back from the bathhouse, warm and soft and smelling like plain soap and bath salts, he almost forgets he's not supposed to be here, that getting close to each other was an oversight in both of their master plans. But again Akira refuses to let him have the couch, claiming that Morgana is asleep there and they shouldn't bother him — a paper-thin excuse, but one Goro is willing to take, if only because he's too tired to argue. That's the only reason, really, nothing to do with the fact that the bed is small enough he can't complain when Akira presses his back against him, or that they're so close that all he can smell is Akira's recently-applied shampoo. Nothing to do with the fact that the nights he spent with his head buried in the crook of Akira's neck were coincidentally the same nights he didn't have nightmares in.

When he wakes, his back is somehow pressed against Akira's chest, who in turn is probably uncomfortably close to the wall. Morgana seems to have snuck into bed with them at some point during the night, but just as he's definitely not being spooned by his biggest rival, he's also not cuddling his feline companion... But he can't push past the veil of drowsiness and restful sleep long enough to truly deny himself such comfort, instead deciding thoughtlessly to settle in and savor it while he could. Morgana was like a little portable heater, a ball of pure furry warmth right against his chest. Akira wasn't quite as warm, but just as comfortable, and Goro tries to wiggle himself further into the other's body, chasing what heat he could get. It feels domestic, or what cheap mockery of it Goro could ever have, and it's with that thought that his brain finally starts catching up with him, with the stiff material of Akira's sheets all the way up to his shoulders, some  _ other _ stiffness pressing against his thigh as Akira shifts in his sleep —

And Goro removes himself from the bed as swiftly as possible without rousing its other residents, heart beating ten times as fast as it had been before. Today was important — he would meet the other Thieves again for the first time since their confrontation, they'd discuss their heist on Shido's palace, not to mention Niijima — and he didn't have time to deal with his brain's sudden fixation with Akira's completely normal, healthy physiological reaction. Yet no matter how many times he splashed his face with cold water from the restroom sink, he could still feel exactly where the other boy had touched him.

This... was going to be a long few days ahead of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got sick TWICE last month which is some A+ luck. Apparently the whole "watch me take another month to finish this" comment was more of a prophecy? Cool Beans™  
> Seriously though, I feel super bad about taking so long and not having a long enough chapter to justify the wait. But writing this is taking me much longer than I intended & I no longer think withholding what I already have written just so I can hit the three chapter estimate is reasonable, so I'm changing it to Whatever Chapter Goal and just going to post it as it comes. Hopefully that means it won't take this long for another chapter to be uploaded, but I make no promises! @-@;;  
> This story is very important to me and it's getting out there one way or another, but my perfectionist/anxious ass won't let it be in a Below My Standards way, so I keep rewriting and re-editing things, adding and removing scenes... The current outline is easily twice as long as I intended it to be at first;;  
> Anyway, still going to be a bit of tension in the next chapter (we're going to steal a heart, after all) but we're finally moving onto the brighter side of things... Also, more phantom thieves to interact with, finally! So please wait warmly and all that

**Author's Note:**

> As a trans masculine person myself, I think pregnancy is like, among my top fears lol. So I thought it'd be fun to write about it, of course. So I guess this leans a bit too heavily on the Trans Angst™, but if I can't project my own terrors into fanfic, then what the heck would I do with it??  
> I'm not really sure if this is really a great take on the prompt (maybe more interesting if I'd written it earlier on the timeline?), I just couldn't get it out of my head once I started thinking about it;;  
> 


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